fillosophy

Here’s a lesson on predictability, namely with people, and specifically with dealing with typical people. First, for the purposes of the philosophical requisites of this site, I’ll define - Typical People: The common person in today’s society, the system of individuals everyone knows I absolutely adore </sarcasm>; is someone that lives up to the expectations of a smart and compassionate person. In other words, they lack compassion, intelligence, soul, heart, feelings, romance and/or common sense/decency/courtesy.More definitions

Soul: That person you are inside that tells you to be a respectable, respecting person to yourself, and to those you come in contact with. We can also call this the common decency engine.

Heart: Being able to confront and admit to feelings beyond your thoughts.

Feelings: Related to heart, but more in the sense of ego, as in, attentiveness to other’s feelings based on how you would feel under a similar circumstance. In most cases, most people, don’t “care”.

Romance: That little thing that used to drive men to achieve great things to win the hearts of a woman, and vice versa. This has been replaced, as I’ve already once gone over.

Common Sense/Decency/Courtesy: Again, from another post. These are the ability to make decisions, and act, as though you should toward others, and with regard to yourself. These qualities don’t take intelligence, nor knowledge, they merely takes the ability to pay attention, and pay respect… Some other rarities.

Compassion: Acting from the heart and soul toward a goal or outcome.

The Observation

Considering most social situations lack most, actually most all, of the above qualities; and thus most people lack these qualities, they’ve been re-defined by those people to these new synonyms:

Soul, you can now call, Stuck up.

Heart, you can now call, Emotional.

Feelings, you can now call, Sensitive.

Romance, you can now call Pansy.

Common Sense, you can now call Pompous.

Common Decency, you can now mistake for boring, clean cut, gay or metro.

Common Courtesy, you can call Trying too hard.

Compassion, you can now call Pathetic.

What people will commonly do is quickly judge the negative aspects of a person’s personality if they are compassionate, heart-felt, and romantic - and blow those qualities out of proportion to make their own inadequacies seem more socially acceptable. Even me typing this, I’ll appear as though I have some kind of superiority complex, and of course its even worse, since I’m able to talk shit about the typical person with such clarity, there will be no room left but to escape to discrediting the personality characteristics I portray. Even better, I’ll get the usual hate e-mails and comments that I’ll have to start approving, just to show people exactly what I’m talking about.

With that crap said, let me get to the point:

Here’s what I’m dealt. The general lack of understanding, and even worse, my general lack of tolerance, just leaves me with the seeming inability to mingle with others. Either they don’t “get it” or I’m unwilling to share what the fuck it is I’m even doing… You’d be surprised at the reactions I get for simply listening to someone, and providing feedback into a conversation, consistently. Giving someone undivided attention is mind blowing to most people, and its interesting to see reactions when doing something cordial or polite just out of nature, and respect for someone.

Here’s an example; I go out to dinner with someone, they get the door to the restaurant opened for them, they walk in front of me, they sit down at the table first, they order first, they’re engaged in conversation about themselves as well as their day, and they’re listened to. Their dinner is cordially paid for, and there is no hurry to leave. There is a walk after dinner for more conversation, and when walking, they walk on the inside of the walkway. The car door is opened for them, and when in the car, they are, again, engaged in conversation about themselves or their friends, etc. During all conversations, if I can relate in a non-selfish manner, stories are traded, and shared, but bragging about the bullshit successes in my life are saved for random conversation or story sharing. Date conversation is about expressing similar differences between likenesses in stories, not to boast about achievements and brag about what you’ve done.

What happens as a result? Well for the most part this is completely new to most people, and if it isn’t, it was done by some assmongrol that’s just playing up the gentleman role to get in the good graces of someone’s ass he wants to wax and share his hidden camera adventures with his buddies over brews and football the next day. Lame. As a result, here are the conclusions:

1. Skeptical: Being too respectful means that I obviously just want something and I’m acting up some player role to get what I want, which would ultimately, of course, be ass.

2. Distrusting: I’m hiding something… I mean, what other reason could there be for me to put up a front of cordially polite gentlemanly traditional actions? I must be a rapist or something.

3. Turned-off: I’m simply too fake to actually think that I could ever engage in conversation with someone, I mean - why the hell would a guy ever listen to a girl anyway? That’s just crazy…

4. Appreciative… but: (These are my favorite) What the hell am I thinking? Treating my dates with respect? I’m sure its nice and all, and the date totally thinks I’m a sweety… but… Really? Who does that shit? Why? For what? Respect is over-rated for sure, and getting to know someone as opposed to just filling their gaps with man-pole and forgetting their name the next day, or moving onto their sister, is a much better way to live life.

5. Scared off: I must be looking for some kind of long-term wife material if I’m over here playing up some Casanova act. Honestly, and you know - the women I date would much rather spread legs than spread thoughts… Leaves out moral obligations if they end up not really being appreciated.

Can’t relate? Come to Southern California - where 7/10 women have been run through a ringer of lies and deceit by all the morons money could muster up. and the other 3/10 seem to be too busy taking care of their Chihuahua, Fluffles, to actually pay attention to someone long enough to give them the respect they deserve.

It’s a whirlwind of tainted, shallow, vapid youth - and even though I’m not so “youth” anymore, I’m still not old. Too bad the generation before mine wasn’t more hard-pressed on instructing their offspring how a real man treats a lady, and how a bitch should act to be considered a lady instead of a vapid cock-catcher.

Oh well though, huh? I enjoy it. My standards stay up here, as I watch all those other people go through Mystery Method-type rituals in order to get some play, get knocked up, and get wire-hangered so they can go out and do it all again the next weekend.

enrique
fillosophy.net : admin
www.n-re-k.com

The most unfortunate, and seemingly lowest act one person can do to another, is dishonor their faith and trust they’ve earned, all for an impulse that can either be controlled or worked out in ways other than acting on them in a way that causes self doubt, the feeling of betrayal, and ultimate heart-break.

Cheating, and being cheated on has got to be one of the most avoidable, yet most practiced, events in today’s couples. I’m going to talk about the easiest first, the practice and how to determine if you’re being cheated on; secondly, for cheaters, how to avoid cheating, and being a better person. Honestly, I don’t think that anything I can say to a cheater would ever get them to stop, and neither would a cheater read a post about something that hits so close to home, especially if its something they do and try not to pay attention to… Oh well, though.

…………………

How to Cheat & Detect a Cheater

First thing’s first, how to cheat. If there is one thing about knowledge that’s clear, the more you have it, the more you can use it in your favor. I’m not giving the guidelines on how to cheat so you can practice these simple steps; I’m basically arming those who are being cheated on with the ammunition they need to understand their situation, and of course then go onto detection.

Cheating isn’t some form of martial art that takes years to practice top master; all it takes is the unfortunate truth, some lies, and actions. The unfortunate truth is simply one of two things

1. Not being fulfilled in one of the core aspects of what they want in a relationship
2. Grew up in a broken home or were abused as a child in one way or another

Neither of these are good. The second is severe psychological baggage, that’s for some reason, so severe, that they act on it in their own personal lives, and self destruct what they have going for them by either dating the wrong types of people, or getting the right kind of person and messing it up with impulses they seemingly can’t control. There’s help for them; but that requires counseling, usually in the form of a couch and a clipboard.

The first is a trick about honesty, but not to the person being cheated on; rather, the person who is cheating and how honest they are with themselves, and in their decisions. First off, there’s normally nothing wrong, fundamentally, with the person being cheated on, and the reason they’re being cheated on doesn’t have much to do with them directly as a person, but more of an incompatibility that they have toward the person that they are with. Problem being, the person cheating is aware of this incompatibility and will actually just lie to themselves and try to look past it, until they fill whatever void it is they feel they’re missing in their relationship.

Cheating, in regard to incompatibility, starts the second the relationship begins. There’s a fundamental moment at the start of the relationship when one person sees a quality in that significant other, that they don’t actually appreciate. Normally it’s something personality-based, unless there’s some shallow physical attraction issue, in which case… that person shouldn’t be in a relationship at all, they should be out at bars dry humping drunks.

Regardless of the foundation, cheating requires a means of secretive communication; be it cell phones, online messengers, social sites, or work relationships; most commonly anything that is accessible consistently, easily, and privately. One of the main tricks of a cheater is to appear to be constantly busy or on the run, but extend that to private as well. Relationships take open honesty between two people, and when that’s not being practiced, perhaps something is happening that shouldn’t be. Talking to someone on a personal/intimate level is actually a form of cheating, regardless. All cheating starts somewhere, and it will usually start with a conversation that shouldn’t ever happen; the infidelity is in the action of going down a path that disrespects and dishonors your relationship, regardless of sexual outcome; and if you deny you’re in a relationship, that’s even worse.

Another factor is the event of whatever action it is that’s taking place that dishonors the relationship. Unfortunately this can happen at work, on lunch breaks, while one or the other is out of town on business, or (if dealing with a complete liar) when they’re supposedly out with friends, family, etc. There’s nothing anyone can do to actual stop the action from taking place, unless being codependent doesn’t bother you, which it should. There’s really nothing to do if the person cheating is to the point of executing the action anyway; that situation is already lost.

…………………

Detecting a cheater is simple; all it takes is some attentiveness. Strangely enough, if you’re attentive to what’s going on, chances are you don’t have to worry about being cheated on. Here’s something to consider; paying attention to your significant other could help in seeing what they see as “lacking” in the fulfillment department. In no way does that excuse cheating if you’re not paying attention to their needs, but it also doesn’t excuse someone for not paying attention to the person they’re with.

The fatal mistake a cheater makes, more often than not, is to simply do one or all of the following:

• Accusations of dishonesty without rhyme or reason
  • - They come home and start accusing you of cheating
  • - They consistently don’t believe you about even the most trivial things
  • - In conversation; you find yourself on constant defense for no reason
• Sudden bursts of confidence
  • - or even submission
• New, unannounced ‘things’ in the bedroom
  • - Positions
  • - Methods
  • - Hand placement
  • - Aggression
  • - Emotional Absence
• Sporadic and noticeable emotional distance changes
  • - Guilt can drive someone to all of a sudden appear a lot more affectionate
  • - Being cold and short, at the most trivial times, or all the time

Granted, these are just generalizations, but honestly; if you’re concerned, and you haven’t cheated yourself, then chances are you have just cause. If you feel as though you have just cause, and start actively looking for these things, you can also just be looking to make you right, as opposed to actually being right. Overall, the best thing to do is talk to one another, not about cheating, but in general. Find out about your relationship, even on the ugly levels… Its a relationship, there’s no need to pretend its perfect from all angles, that’s just stupid optimism and wishful thinking. Get real.

…………………

What to do?

If you’re being cheated on and you know it, what do you do? Step one, end the relationship. Step two, never look back. Forgive and forget is for things like, forgetting to introduce you to their friends right away when you go out to someplace, or fibbing about menial stuff that has no bearing on their character (at the beginning of the relationship)… Yes… I just said its o.k. to lie; this is written for HUMANS to read. Cheating is a fundamental character flaw with that person, and/or a fundamental flaw in your relationship and compatibility. Allowing yourself to be cheated on… one more time… Allowing yourself to be cheated on; is just as bad as being cheated on. Not only is the person you’re with fucking around with you, you’re fucking around with you, and just making your situation worse.

People often use the “Love” excuse. This is bullshit, and I’m fucking sick of hearing about it. Love is a two-way street, end of story. If you love someone, they love you as well; and true/real love doesn’t include cheating. If you don’t value your heart, and don’t value yourself as a person, you’ll have no problem being involved with someone in a non-true relationship. People lie to themselves every day and cope with the hardships they are dealt because for some reason they think life isn’t messed up enough without the self-destructive side effects of staying in an emotionally abusive relationship.

If you tolerate a cheater, you need to ask yourself “why”; and then ask, what it is that makes you devalue who you are enough to allow yourself to be treated like someone who can be disrespected and dishonored. Is it just the way things are? Perhaps I’m single for a reason; I refuse to settle for someone I don’t want to be with. That’s the simple fact of it all. I’ve been in situations where I wasn’t fully happy, and guess what? I ended it; as opposed to just going out and finding something to fill the void. Being honest with yourself will keep you from cheating, just as easily as it will keep you from being cheated on, or tolerating a cheater. Inner-honesty boils it all down to, if you’re being cheated on and you tolerate it? You’re neither no better off, nor doing yourself any bit of justice… Care for yourself and your heart; you’re relying on you for support on these things.

enrique
fillosophy.net : admin
www.n-re-k.com

Tonight I went to a bar in downtown, it was late, Wednesday, and the place was packed full of random people, as expected… after all, it is the Gaslamp, San Diego, the spring time… and I ended up having a conversation with the praised “Mystery”, author of “The Mystery Method”, recently featured on Conan O’Brien talking about his book and the art of getting gorgeous women into bed.

First let me tell you about Erik, stage named Mystery. He’s a tall lengthy liberated guy, black nail polished, pretty outrageously outfitted lengthy ‘bro’ with a knack for talk and definitely large following. He gets paid, apparently, to hold seminars for guys, wherein he teaches them (much like Hitch) how to pick up on women in a club/bar/wherever setting, and then they all go out and try their hand at simply getting laid, or hooking up… whatever.

Now, in the brief 30 minutes that I talked with this guy, I didn’t say too much… Something I learned a long time ago is to let the charismatic dig themselves into a trench so you can fill in the hole they’ve dug with a few small scoops. Oh! I’ve let on to my conclusion; I’m trying to remain unbiased, until I drop the hammer on this cat. Anyhow, he spoke for the majority, and of course the conversation was randomly interrupted every few minutes or so when he got distracted by a set of tits, or some random 2 through 9 scaled bar skeeze. During this time, he explained to me the meaning of life, which of course is “to procreate”, not in his quote, but in mine – I think he said “spread your seed” or “make babies” something to that shallow effect. It was pretty simple and quick to see that Erik appeals to the masses by over generalization, and associating to the common low-life. Before I start to gun this fool down; he made some interesting points about the primitive tell tale signs from a woman when you’re coming onto her… and he put it in terms of ape-like grooming; interesting analogy, but the hair flipping example was quite convincing… Not sure if I’d compare women to primates just yet, I mean, I’ve said my pieces about how shallow I think we’ve all become in our shop-til-you-drop society, but I’m not sure I’ve gone so far as to say we haven’t evolved from monkeys enough just yet to not act like them when we’re in a social environment.

So we were outside talking it up, and he tried to get me to go inside with him on the prowl, pick up a few “targets” and try my hand at his methods, I just looked at him. “You gotta be kidding”, I said.

“Oh c’mon man, this is why we’re all here. We go out to places like this to meet women, socialize, and put ourselves out there, using that inner pick up artist we all have inside of us…”, Erik replied.

I shifted myself from leaning against the railing with my left elbow, to my right, “Not all of us.”

“Why are you here?”, he looked perplexed, like it was the first time he ever came across a guy that was more complicated than a simple caveman out in the “field” looking to score a piece of ass from some shallow whore at a club on a weekday.

I leaned forward, “Simply to be here… home was boring”.

Now, I’m not sure exactly what this guy was thinking at this point. I mean, I wasn’t all that puzzled by why I would be at a bar in downtown, hell that’s where I go, I hang out from time to time at VIP spots, just to get a decent drink and talk it up with friends. Sue me. It’s like going to a coffee shop and talking philosophy with the people you’re with to have a good time. What fun is it going out with goals and agendas? That’s what work is for. So off he scampered, and he got about 10 feet into the door when he stopped at these two skirts, started to strike up some horrible conversation. “What nationality are you?” I looked at my friend and just laughed. Sorry, but unless you’re from San Diego, you might not get it. San Diego is the Mecca for all those “not from here”, and that’s the lowest level conversation starter you can pick. Maybe that was the idea, perhaps he so coy that he doesn’t need to try anymore, sure. It gets better.

So he comes back, 15… maybe 20 minutes later. I’m still standing outside, perched against the railing, leaning on my left elbow. I did what I normally do to people that lose my interest, I ignored him. For those of you that are reading this that have had the pleasure of losing my interest, you know exactly how that works. After a few minutes, I look over at his conversation with a girl from Guam, I know this because he used the same line on her as he did the other dame. And he brushes her off, to lean into conversation to me about the three stages of a pick-up.

I called bullshit in my head the second I heard him say it; but then again, the caliber of women he’s using his shit against aren’t exactly college level graduates, and if they are, they’re simply too stupid to realize what’s going on, and even more so, aren’t worth much if they fall for it. Maybe I’m too picky, perhaps my superiority complex is a little over the top, and then he asked me, pointing to my friend who was with me, “How long you two been hanging out?”

I look at my buddy, “Ten years?”

My friend replies to him, “Ten, maybe eleven years.”

“So is he your wing man? You guys go out and score often?” Erik pried.

My friend just looked at him and said, “No. We get women by talking to them like people”.

I’m not even sure the guy stuck around long enough to hear the entire sentence, but Erik’s friend (we’ll just call him Whoeverthefuck) caught it, and he was fucking boggled. “So… which one of you guys usually goes in for the kill?”

You gotta be fucking kidding me. Thank god I wasn’t in the mood to talk to this freak, or I would have had a field day, so my friend replied, “Neither of us, man, we just dominate.”

“Oh really?”, Whoeverthefuck said.

I just laughed and turned my back to the guy. My friend says, “Yep!”

Anyhow, a little side story narrative of my evening with Erik Von Markovik, the author of “The Mystery Method”. Just by meeting this guy, I’d say, if you’re into shallow whores without the ability to formulate their own opinions; who are codependent; and who are grotesquely predictable to the point of being compared to with apes… Get the book, its available on Amazon. I won’t be buying it, I believe in treating people like people with respect until proven worthy of otherwise; and I require substance in the relationships I build with others, not some formulated systematic three step process that’ll allow me to go plug holes in drunk chicks all night with my man-hammer.

Cheers, “Mystery”. You got my vote for one of the smartest idiots I’ve ever met. Congratulations on your successes.

enrique
fillosophy.net : admin
www.n-re-k.com